This One Word Changed My Entire Perspective on Our Autism Journey

Have you ever wondered why some people seem to take an autism diagnosis in stride, while others, like me, fall apart? I’ve often thought about why I took my son’s diagnosis so badly. I wish I could say I was the mum who squared her shoulders and said, “This doesn’t change a thing—we’ll figure it out!” I wish I’d been the one giving pep talks to my mum as she silently grieved in the corner. I wanted to be that resilient, motivated parent who faced the news like a warrior. But that wasn’t my reality.

Instead, I struggled—hard. If I’m being brutally honest, I felt like the word autism was almost a dirty word. It carried so much weight and fear that I couldn’t face it head-on.

Now, nearly a decade later, I don’t feel that way at all. But I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on why I reacted like that in the first place. It wasn’t until I was listening to a podcast recently that something clicked. The guest was talking about being an elite athlete who suffered a career-ending injury. In that moment, he had two choices: adapt to his new reality or wither away.

It hit me—when we receive an autism diagnosis for our child, it’s not that different from that athlete’s pivotal moment. The athlete hears the snap of a tendon or the crack of a bone and knows life will never be the same. They have to make a choice: sink or swim.

For me, I wouldn’t say I was sinking, but I was definitely treading water. Some days, I barely kept my head above the surface, gasping for air only to get a mouthful of water instead.

To thrive on this journey—this marathon—you have to adapt. You have to accept that life is different now and find new ways to move forward.

Survival isn’t just about making it through the day. It’s about how quickly you can adapt to your new environment. History shows us that those who adapt survive—and those who adapt quickly thrive.

Me? I felt like I was dragging myself to the finish line, leaving behind a trail of snot and tears. But I made it. Slowly but surely, I learned to move forward.

So, ask yourself:

– How quickly are you adapting to this new reality?
– Are you sinking or swimming?
– Are you running, jogging, or dragging yourself to the finish line?
– Is the finish line in sight, or are you thinking, Finish line? What finish line?

Your ability to adapt—not just to survive but to thrive—is what will make the most significant difference for both you and your child.

Don’t give up.
Slow down to speed up.

And remember—adaptation is where real change happens.

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