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My Story
My Story
It is about progress,
not perfection.
My child was diagnosed at the age of two years old; it was something that both my husband and I were not expecting. We had no clue what Autism was nor did we know how to support our precious son. In the beginning I wasn't coping. I wasn't sleeping. In fact, I was grieving for what in my mind was no more. I would lay in bed wondering if my child would one day say “I love you mum”? Would he be able to go to school? Would he have friends? Would people judge me? Would people judge him?
I battled with feelings of shame and blame for far too long. I drowned my sorrows with alcohol to numb the pain and constant negative self-talk took its toll.
Coaching saved me. Having a coach, someone I could speak to on a weekly basis in a one-to-one appointment was healing. By being vulnerable and sharing with my coach my deepest fears, we were able to explore together where the fear was coming from, the language I was using and how that may be impacting my thoughts and what strategies I could implement to move me out of a negative mindset and into a more productive and helpful mindset. By simply making changes – big or small I could help my family take the first step towards our journey of acceptance.
Why Me?
Put your oxygen mask on first.
After being thrown into the world of special needs, I quickly learned that to survive, I must put my oxygen mask on first. My mental health was paramount. I needed to look after myself before I could help my family.
At that time my thought patterns were a mess. I lived in fear, anger, despair and worry. Thought looping and other destructive emotions and patterns saw me fall into an anxious and depressed state. It was not until I enlisted the help of a coach to work through my own problems that I was able to not only come to terms with my son's diagnosis, but my mindset shifted dramatically, and I was able to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Since becoming a specialist parent coach, I often say to my husband that I wish I had a version of me back when our son was first diagnosed. I could have saved myself so many tears, so much grief and sadness. I could have started my healing process far quicker, which means that I could have helped my son progress quicker as well. Far too often I would overthink decisions about my son, his health and his future. I couldn't quite deal with what was ahead so I would stay with the grief and the anger. My thought patterns became “Why him? Why me? Why us?”
The ironic thing is that now I am grateful for my journey. I am grateful for the hard times because it has shaped who I am as a mother, as a wife and as a woman. I am grateful because I now know that my purpose is to help other parents with their journey, where I had no one. I refuse to let another parent feel as isolated, overwhelmed and alone as I was. With strategies and solutions, I can help parents feel empowered, give them awareness and most importantly shine a light on the pathway ahead.
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