Why Being Called an Amazing Mum Feels Like a Lie

I’ve had friends, family members and teachers tell me time and time again, “you’re an amazing mum” or “you do so much for your child, I just don’t know how you do it all”

Every time I’d hear these words I’d cringe internally.  Those words just didn’t feel true to me.  In fact, I felt so disconnected from those words that they would just bounce right off me.  I couldn’t take in the weight of what these people were saying.

My body was in so much of a trauma response that I couldn’t identify those words as my own.

What part of me was amazing?

Is it the part that functions on broken sleep because my child wakes five times a night?

Is it the part that obsesses over therapies, appointments, and education plans—because letting things “just be” doesn’t feel like an option?

Or is it the part that has placed my child’s every need so far above my own that I’ve forgotten what I even need?

I didn’t become a mum to be a martyr. I didn’t take on this role to be a saint, or a superhero. I became a mum because I wanted to feel that soul-deep love—the kind that beams back when you look into your child’s eyes. I became a mum because I wanted to leave a legacy. Because I believed in love and family and purpose.

So, these days, when someone tells me that I’m amazing or that I’m doing such an incredible job, I own those words, and I remind myself of how hard I’ve worked to get this child where he currently is. I smile politely and allow their words to wash over me.  To sink in through my pores and radiate through my soul.

Today, I stand before you as a glowing example of resilience or strength, but there was a time where I was standing before you as a woman—exhausted, overwhelmed, and hanging on with everything she has. A version of myself I barely recognised. A shadow of the person I once was, quietly hoping that someday soon, the spark would return.

I want to tell you that I’ve found my way back to her.  I have found that strong, courageous woman and she is full of fight and ready to run.  Her passion runs furiously as she reminds herself daily that she is enough and that she looks at how far she really has come.

Don’t walk this journey alone.

You owe it to yourself to reclaim the woman you once were.

Do it for you, but more importantly, do it for your autistic child…they need a mum who can truly show up to not only love her children but love herself.

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