Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda

I have no doubt that most people have gone through the shoulda, coulda, woulda phase of life.

Thinking back to a time in your life when you should have done something differently.

You could have chosen a different path and

had you had your time again you would have done something completely different.

Stop living in the past.

A place where you have no control.  A place where torment will eat you alive should you decide to live there.  A place where you cannot change the outcome.

You can sit there wishing with all your might for a different outcome, but the reality of it is that what’s done is done.

Whether you think you caused your child’s autism …. Which you didn’t …. If you think you ate the wrong thing, took the wrong medication, insert here the reason, you can’t go back and rewrite history.  You can’t change what has happened in the past.  The only thing you have control over right now is your ability to look to the future and change what you think needs to be changed, tweaked, or realigned.

Like Tony Robbins says, stop shoulding all over yourself.

Life if far too short to be living in the past hoping for a different outcome.

You see when we live in the past, when we recall the traumatic events that have happened, we invite those same emotions into our body, but the catch here is, that the mind doesn’t know the difference between what is real and what is not real.  So, when we relive those traumatic events our brain believes that those experiences are happening to us in real time. They don’t know that the event you’re thinking about is from the past.

Do an experiment with me – think about a recent win that you had with your child.  Really feel the win.  See the joy on your child’s face, their sense of accomplishment.  Feel the butterflies in your stomach and how your cheeks hurt from smiling so much. In that instant you’re feeling complete joy.  Pure happiness.

Now go to the other side of this coin.  Think of a traumatic event that has happened.  It might be when your child was first diagnosed with autism.  Feel the lump in your throat, the tightness in your stomach, the tears rolling down your cheeks.

You get to choose WHAT you think and HOW you feel.   Don’t let the past negative experiences dictate your future.  You have control of that.

If you’re looking for more support, please send me an email at natalie@youareseen.com.au or send me a DM on Facebook or Instagram.

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