What to do When Your Nervous System is on Fire
Last week, I was coaching a mum who was at her absolute limit.
She was overwhelmed, exhausted, and in her words, “I feel like I’m completely losing control of my thoughts.” She couldn’t sleep, was crying constantly, and told me she didn’t have the tools or strategies to manage these big emotions.
She was stuck in a cycle of chaos. And it was taking its toll.
As we spoke, she reflected on her child’s behaviour in the classroom and realised something powerful — her son was in the same state.
He couldn’t settle, couldn’t learn, couldn’t engage. His nervous system was stuck in fight or flight.
And when we peeled back the layers, it became clear: so was she.
She wasn’t physically unsafe. She had a supportive home and loving people around her. But her nervous system didn’t feel safe.
Her body was on constant high alert, bracing for the next meltdown, the next phone call from school, the next judgmental comment.
She didn’t know how to switch off.
I see this time and time again with the mums I work with.
I lived this myself in the early years.
When your nervous system is stuck in survival mode, it’s impossible to show up as the mum you want to be.
And if you don’t find a way to calm it, you’re heading straight for burnout, illness, chronic fatigue, and a version of yourself you won’t even recognise.
I’ve written before about the dangers of living in fight or flight for too long.
But here’s what we often forget: Your brain doesn’t know what’s real and what’s not.
Every perceived threat feels exactly the same.
Road rage?
Your child having a meltdown?
Someone making a rude comment?
Your brain processes them all like there’s a sabre-toothed tiger coming to rip your head off.
It reacts as if your life is in immediate danger.
No wonder we feel constantly wired, overwhelmed, and trapped.
As mums, we need real strategies. Not fluffy self-care advice that requires two hours of free time we don’t have.
We need quick, practical tools to calm our nervous system in the moment.
When the house is noisy, your child is screaming, you’re running on three hours of broken sleep, and you’re on the edge of snapping.
Signs Your Nervous System Might Be on Fire:
- You can’t sleep or wake up feeling like you haven’t rested.
- You sigh all the time without even realising it.
- You snap or get angry at the smallest things.
- You feel triggered constantly.
- You feel deeply misunderstood.
- You feel isolated, even when you’re surrounded by people.
- You notice tension in your jaw, throat, chest, or other parts of your body.
If this sounds like you, I want you to pause and take a deep breath.
Say out loud: “I am not alone.”
You are not broken.
You’re not failing.
You’re a mum with a nervous system that’s screaming for help.
The mums I work with every day are desperate to quiet the noise in their minds and feel their bodies release the weight they’ve been carrying.
If that’s you, start here. Three simple things to begin calming your nervous system today:
- Try Box Breathing
Box breathing is one of the fastest ways to reset your nervous system.
It’s used by Navy SEALs in combat because when everything feels out of control, your breath is the one thing you can control.
It helps signal to your brain that you are safe.
If you’ve never heard of it, look it up — it’s everywhere.
Start with a simple pattern:
👉🏼 Breathe in for 4 seconds
👉🏼 Hold for 4 seconds
👉🏼 Breathe out for 4 seconds
👉🏼 Hold for 4 seconds
Repeat this a few times, especially when you feel triggered or overwhelmed.
- Stop Drinking Alcohol
I know. This one stings.
But alcohol disrupts your hormones and your sleep.
It can make the nervous system even more dysregulated the next day.
So many of us use alcohol as a quick escape, but there comes a time when we need to sit with the discomfort instead of numbing it.
You deserve true, lasting relief — not a temporary band-aid.
- Increase Your Protein Intake
Protein plays a huge role in stabilising your blood sugar and regulating your mood.
When your blood sugar is balanced, you’re less likely to have the 3pm crash, the sugar cravings, or those moments of intense irritability.
This is a small, tangible change that can make a big difference in how you feel day-to-day.
Your children deserve a mum who can fully show up — not one who is dragging her body from the bed to the couch, longing to escape her own life.
You deserve that, too.
Start small.
Start now.
You don’t have to do this perfectly.
But you do have to do it.
Do it for you.
Do it for them.
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Podcast Episode #37: The Ear – Doorway to Brain and Body with Jennifer Muller
Jennifer is a registered counsellor and mother of three, including a child with significant learning difficulties. Her journey led her family to Canada, where they enrolled her son in the Eaton Arrowsmith School, a leading institution in cognitive strengthening.
After four transformative years, she witnessed firsthand the power of neuroplasticity and became a strong advocate for the brain’s ability to change through targeted intervention. While in Canada, Jennifer trained in the Tomatis Method and Safe and Sound protocol, worked extensively with Arrowsmith students, gaining invaluable experience in auditory and cognitive support.
Now based in Australia, Jennifer integrates her holistic background into her work, offering Tomatis sessions and running a successful equine and nature-assisted counselling practice. She primarily supports children with autism and developmental challenges, combining science, empathy, and nature in her therapeutic approach. In our chat we spoke about:
▶️ The significance of our ears and sound in our everyday life
▶️ Why a good listening system so important
▶️ Why this work considered foundational
▶️ How we can address the body piece through music
▶️ What’s involved and how does one actually get the therapy done
To listen to the podcast episode and grab Jennifer’s freebie, click here.
💻 If you’re needing some extra support whilst navigating the journey of autism, please book in your free call today.
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