What is Negative Self-Talk Costing You?
If I’m being completely honest, I’ve always had that negative self-talk voice in my head.
You know that voice — the one that whispers you’re not good enough, smart enough, experienced enough, attractive enough. That little inner critic that picks you apart piece by piece.
And I haven’t met a woman who hasn’t heard it.
But I can tell you — hand on heart — that voice has never been louder than it was after my son’s autism diagnosis.
If you could’ve heard what went on in my head during those early days, you might’ve cried… or assumed I’d completely lost the plot. It was relentless.
We’re so quick to become our own worst critics. We say things to ourselves we would never say to another human being. We pull apart our story until there’s nothing left but scraps. Like vultures picking at bones, we keep going until there’s nothing left to give.
But here’s the part we don’t often stop to think about:
That negative self-talk? It’s costing you more than you realise.
It doesn’t just hurt you. It spills out — into your tone, your posture, your energy. Your whole personality shifts when you’re in that mode. You curse more. You snap quicker. Your body tenses. Your shoulders drop. You avoid eye contact. You speak more harshly — not just to yourself, but to those around you.
And guess who picks up on that the fastest?
Our kids.
Especially our neurodivergent children — they are detectives when it comes to energy and body language. They may not have the words to explain it, but they feel it in their bones. They sense when something’s off. And even if they can hold it together for a little while, eventually, they break too.
Negative self-talk creates a ripple effect.
It starts with your thoughts.
Then your body responds.
Then your child feels the shift.
Then they become dysregulated.
And the cycle continues.
If there’s one thing — just one thing — I could ask every parent on this journey to do, it’s this:
Learn how to regulate yourself.
Forget therapy sessions for a moment. Forget reading books or setting up schedules or doing all the “right things.”
Because if you’re stuck in a spiral of self-loathing or shame or not-enough-ness, none of it matters.
Your self-regulation is the foundation. It’s the calm in the storm. It’s the thing that sets the emotional tone for your home.
And the truth is — if you can regulate yourself, you’re already halfway there.
Here are 3 Quick Tools to Quiet That Inner Critic:
- Name the Voice
Is it a man or woman’s voice? Is it someone from your past — your mum, dad, a teacher, an ex? Or maybe it’s just a distorted version of you. Give it a name — “The Mean Girl,” “Bossy Brenda,” “The Critic.”
This helps you separate you from the voice. It’s not truth — it’s fear, trying to keep you safe.
- Reframe the Thought
Notice the thought.
“I’m not a good enough mum.”
Now reframe it.
“I’m doing everything I can to support my child. And that’s all that matters.”
You’re not lying to yourself — you’re choosing a more helpful truth.
- Create a ‘Truth File’
Keep a folder in your phone filled with evidence of your strength: kind messages, proud moments, things your child has overcome.
When the negativity creeps in, read through it and remind yourself of who you really are. It’s your personal pep-talk stash.
I hope this has been helpful — truly.
If negative self-talk has taken root in your day-to-day and you’re ready to break the habit, I’d love to help. I’ve supported other mums through this exact spiral, and I can walk you through practical, realistic strategies that actually work.
Because you deserve to feel steady. Confident. Whole.
Not just for your child. But for you too.
___________________________________________________________________________________________
Podcast Episode #40: Plan Management with a Personalised Approach with Yllenna Thompson
In this week’s episode I’m chatting with Yllenna Thompson from AIIM Choices. AIIM Choices are Plan Managers for the NDIS. They pay invoices for services provided by the participant’s NDIS plan. Participants have direct access to their own dedicated plan manager.
AIIM Choices wrap their arms around their participants & family to ensure their needs and goals are being met.
Multi-Lingual with staff speaking over 15 languages.
AIIM Choices provides free NDIS application assistance to help you every step of the way. They discuss NDIS eligibility criteria with you and help you break down the barriers to applying. AIIM Choices will guide you to sort out paperwork for your NDIS application. Working with your support services to ensure all information truly reflects your unique situation.
That’s why AIIM Choices motto is “we listen, we care”.
Yllenna shares how AIIM Choices sets them apart from other plan managers and how they assist with the NDIS process:
▶️ Are the NDIS changes affecting the services you provide to your NDIS participants and how?
▶️ What happens if AIIM Choices receives an invoice for a service that looks wrong or is outside the NDIS rules?
▶️ What are the eligibility criteria for an application to the NDIS?
▶️ What is the Timeline of an application to the NDIS?
▶️ What happens once application has been approved by NDIS?
To listen to the podcast episode, click here.
💻 If you’re needing some extra support whilst navigating the journey of autism, please book in your free call today.
Book in a FREE call, select the time that suits you.
