A Wake-Up Call for Autism Mums: You Deserve More Than Activewear

As a mum raising an autistic child, fashion is probably the last thing on your mind. When you’re running on fumes because your child has been up all night, the thought of putting on something cute feels almost laughable.

But let’s rewind for a moment.

When you were younger, clothing was more than just fabric—it was confidence, identity, and a way to fit in. The right outfit made you feel like you belonged, like you could take on anything.

Then came motherhood.

In those early postpartum days, when your body was still healing, clothes became purely functional. Your maternity bra made you feel like a saggy version of Pamela Anderson, and those size 10 jeans? A distant memory. Your identity felt lost in the chaos of leaky boobs and sleepless nights.

Fast forward again.

You’re now in the thick of it.  Your child received their autism diagnosis just under a year ago and life is most certainly not how you imagined it.  You scroll through influencer accounts after the kids go to bed….that’s if you can actually get them to go to sleep…yearning for the day when you can throw on a pair of cool jeans without having to show anything whilst helping your child with a meltdown.  Or that cute top that means that you’ll need to wear a strapless bra….do you even own a strapless bra?  Does it even fit?

Then the thoughts start flooding your brain.  “Jenny, you’re not a size 10 anymore!  Who do you even think you are?  No one cares because they barely see you as it is.”

Let me stop you right there. That voice? It’s not you. It’s the inner critic that’s been whispering lies ever since your world shifted to revolve around your child. And I’m here to tell that voice to kindly shut the hell up.

Because here’s the truth: what you wear does impact how you feel.

Whether you believe it or not, clothing, for women and some men, make you feel a certain way.  For some women wearing all black means that they feel like they’re going to a funeral.  For others, it means that they look the thinnest.  For others wearing that cute top means that whatever life throws at them they can handle it because they look good.

Unfortunately, the reality of it is that when mums in particular, receive an autism diagnosis for their child, fashion gets kicked to the curb, never to be thought of again.

Active wear becomes your new best friend, and not the cool active wear.  No I mean the weathered active wear that’s been washed so many times that the elasticity around the waist is going.  You’ve got fuzzballs on your leggings and your tops have stains under the armpits.

Putting on this kind of clothing is stopping you from being the baddass mum of an autistic child and your child is sensing it.

Do me a favour – just for fun – Lets do an experiment!

Next time you have a moment to yourself, put on something that makes you feel good. It doesn’t have to be fancy—just something that makes you feel like you. If you’re feeling bold, maybe add a little makeup. Paint your nails. Do whatever lights you up.

Now stand in front of the mirror and really look at yourself.

Take a long, honest look.

Your face, your arms, your waist, your legs.

How do you feel? Joyful? Nervous? Uncomfortable? Excited?

These emotions matter because they reveal something deeper—layers of self-protection that formed when your child’s diagnosis changed everything. As mums, we pour every ounce of ourselves into our children, often forgetting that we matter too. But here’s the thing: when you feel good, you show up differently. And your child feels that shift.

I’d be so grateful if you had the courage to message me how you’re feeling.

I’d love for you to message me and tell me how this experiment makes you feel. Because this isn’t about vanity—it’s about reconnecting with yourself.

No, I’m not saying you need to dress like you’re heading to a gala every day. But I am saying it’s time to stop neglecting yourself.

So, do this for me: set aside an afternoon. Go shopping, whether online or in-store. Buy something that makes you feel good. Because your mental health is directly tied to how you see yourself. And it’s time to put the tired, stretched-out activewear aside and wear something that truly makes you shine.

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