How I process the meltdowns

by | Nov 3, 2022

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Meltdowns are never easy. They’re distressing, overwhelming and often leave the parents feeling helpless and hopeless. We, as parents, feel like we need to fix the problem when our child is upset, crying and dysregulated. We want to make that feeling that our child is experiencing to vanish. Let it be gone so that we can have the calm child we know back.

Here’s the thing, when our children are having those meltdowns – they’re expressing how they’re feeling. They’re showing up for themselves and telling you and the world what’s going on for them. We, as parents are so quick to usher that behaviour out that we miss the signs that our children need us to see.

Before my son was able to communicate with me, unable to use his words to tell me what he needed or wanted, there would be times that he would have a meltdown. Exhibit behaviour that was hard to watch. Hard because I couldn’t make him feel better.

It took time, but I was able to read his body language and decode what he was trying to say. What he was trying to convey with his body. Now I’m not saying that we as parents should be going around trying to anticipate what our child needs and then do it for them. Using that method, the child loses because they don’t have the option to learn the skill.

We can, however, make our children’s lives easier. With that I mean, if they are sensitive to noise, ear cancelling head phones could be an option. If your child is seeking tactile support maybe a fidget spinner could work. The beauty of it is now more than ever we have options for various toys and support aids that will help our children with everyday living and functioning.

I remember a time where my angel boy had a meltdown. It broke my heart. I couldn’t console him. I couldn’t read his body or interpret what his little soul was screaming at me. I dug deep, put my big girl pants on and decided that I was going to be there for him the best way I could. I gave him a safe space to let out what he needed to express. I put my own emotions to the side and was present for his emotions. I didn’t get angry or frustrated (as much as I wanted to), I didn’t smack or threaten. I just was.

So, after he calmed down and became regulated once again. I went to my bedroom and I, at that time, let out what I needed to let out in order for me to process what had just happened.

I cried, I cursed, I felt like a truck had run me over.

Be kind to yourself when your child is in the midst of that meltdown. Do you best to regulate yourself as much as you can and then when the storm has passed and everyone is settled, you can let it all out. Release the emotions out into the universe and out of your heart.

If this resonates with you, please book in a free chat to discuss further.