Finding the next step when your mind feels overloaded
Let me ask you – in your past, when was there a time when you were resourceful? Can you remember a time where you pulled out all of the stops and eradicated all objections and got something done. It could have been that you put some ikea furniture together (which I will take my hat to because if you want something screwed together back to front and inside out then I’m your girl). Or was it the time that you mastered baking your child’s birthday cake or was it the time that you crammed for a test and aced it.
The human race tends to be discouraged by new things. New things for us equal hard, unknown, fear of what’s to come. New things mean that we’re going to be shoved outside of our comfort zone. A place that most people don’t really enjoy. Its uncomfortable because its unfamiliar. We are creatures of habit. Knowing the familiar is what we will always gravitate towards.
But what if I told you that its in the uncomfortable, in the messy, in the hard is where you will find all of the answers. The answers to the burning questions in your mind. See, as a parent of an autistic child you don’t get a manual on what the future looks like. You don’t get a roadmap on what you should and shouldn’t do and what this type of behaviour means and how you, yourself can show up like the fierce, baddass mum that I know you can be.
So, what if I told you that for you to get the answers you need you must become resourceful. And your response to me is well I don’t know how to be resourceful. My answer to you, my beautiful friend is yes you do. You have evidence in your past of how you achieved the hard thing and how you got it done. Was it easy? No. What its always smooth sailing? No. Did you always know the answers then and there? Hell no. But did you keep going until you achieved the result you wanted? Yes! You became resourceful. You informed yourself with a variety of different methods on how this could work. You might have researched on the internet, you may have reached out to a community, you may have taken a course, read a book, watched a documentary. You schooled yourself on how to show up better. You became resourceful.
We as mums need to adapt an identity around being resourceful. Believing and seeing yourself as someone who most certainly can overcome any challenge. Now I know what your thinking, you’re probably throwing your arms up in the air yelling but I don’t know how!!! And I absolutely resonate with you. It takes time, it takes testing and measuring different solutions, it takes educated guesses and it most certainly means you taking action. Sitting on the couch, crying into your coffee won’t see you get that action. I know tough love. Its hard. Are there going to be moments where crying into your coffee is all you can do that day? Yes. Are there going to be days where you feel super motivated and ready to take on the next challenge? Yes.
You are so resourceful. You know how to be resourceful. You just feel unresourceful because your environment has changed. The words on the paper have changed but you are still the resourceful, amazing, fierce mum the world knows you to be. Take baby steps. You won’t always get it right and that’s ok. Pause. Read that one again. It’s ok to make mistakes. I’m giving you the permission to make the mistakes.
Take this as the first page in the manual that your about to write for you and your child. Use it as your reminder that we can achieve great things. You are not alone.
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