Does the hard ever end?

by | Jun 2, 2023

I sent a text to one of my girlfriends, it read “do you think the hard ever ends?”  In all seriousness, does the pain, the worry, the exhaustion, the frustration, does it ever end?  I was feeling overwhelmed by what was happening in my world at the time and to me, at that point in time all I could see was my pain, my sorrow.  This wasn’t my first rodeo, I am experienced in this, resilience is my middle name and yet every time something big happens, it always takes my breathe away.  I’m always shocked and it will usually take me a few days to recover.

The ‘woe is me’ side of my brain complains that nothing is easy, everything is hard, life is hard and the quicker I understand that the better.  The realist side of my brain, however, says Ha! You think you’ve got it hard, how about you take a walk in the children’s hospital.  Then you will know what hard looks like.

Now this is in no means a comparison game – I’ve had people tell me exactly that – you’re not going through anything unless your kid has a brain tumour or is dying of cancer.  I want you to recognise that your hard, what you’re going through right now, is so very hard and no one should or can take that away from you.

What you’re going through right now is brutal.  Its exhausting.  You’re thinking about it more that anything else right now.  You spend most of your waking moments analysing solutions, strategies, therapies, dealing with guilt, blame and shame.  You’re hard is at a 10 right now and I will stand with you when your hard reaches a 12 on some days.  When you think you can’t go on when you feel like you don’t have one more ounce of energy to give, I will stand with you – guiding you, supporting you, being your biggest cheerleader, because that is the time when you’ll want to throw in the towel and beg for mercy.

I know this to be true because I have been there.  Praying for the guidance but only getting more of life’s curveballs being thrown at me.

Just because you don’t see others go through the hard, doesn’t mean they don’t.  I have witnessed a woman dress like a million bucks, act like she don’t have a care in the world, whilst her husband of many many years cheats on her with another woman.  Just because you don’t see it written all over another person’s face, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.

So please take the time to recognise your hard.  Accept that it’s downright awful right now, but even with the hard it has ebbs and flows.  The intensity won’t always be at a 10.  Know that you have the tools in your toolkit to handle anything that comes your way, and in the meantime, know that I am here to support you in any way that I can.

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