How Resilient Are You?

Resilient – A person who is able to withstand or recover quickly from difficult conditions.

Being a parent of a child who has additional needs you learn very quickly how to be resilient. How to bounce back. I learnt quickly that there was very little time for wallowing and self-pity. I most certainly had my breakdowns but they came when I was off the clock. When the kids were awake, I had to be mum. I had to be in charge of cooking, cleaning and managing all of the things that was requested of me. To pay the therapy bills and organise the appointments and do the menu planning. But let me make one thing clear – was I resilient at the beginning? Absolutely not. The scales were 100% tipped more to anger, blame, shame and frustration. Did those scales move over time? Yes. If I wanted my child to progress, I had to take those hits. I had to fall down in order to learn the lessons, in order to understand what to do and what not to do.

I believe we become more resilient over time because we research everything under the sun about our child’s diagnosis and then we try. We try different therapies, therapists, food, medications, schools, sensory toys and the list goes on and on.

And when the thing you tried doesn’t work the way you expected, you pull up your big girl/boy boots and you keep going because what other choice do you have?

Did I get it right all of the time? Hell no. Was I critical of myself when I got it wrong? Hell yes. I was my own worst and harshest critic. No one could have been harsher to me than me.

In summary, I will point out, our expectations tie directly into how resilient we will become.