To our typical daughter…here’s what I want you know…
To our beautiful daughter, I know this journey has been rough on you sometimes. I know you haven’t always understood the reasons as to why we have made the decisions we’ve made, but I wanted to write this to you…
I will forever be indebted to you. I know you were sent to us specifically for the reason of helping your big brother. The love and compassion you have for him outweighs everything I ever thought a sibling relationship could have. You are so kind and gentle with him and although your tolerance can definitely be tested at times, you my friend are his biggest teacher.
I always thought that as a parent, I would be his biggest teacher, but you have have also shaped him into who is today. You have taught him social skills, you have taught him how to play games, you have guided him and shown him the way. For that I cannot thank you enough. You see as a parent and carer of an autistic child life can feel lonely and isolating at times. Feeling very much like its you against the the world.
When you entered my world I knew you were going to change it, and change it for the better. I have never felt more empowered and ready to take on anything life had to throw me than when I gave birth to you. The exact opposite to your brother’s birth, your birth felt liberating, it felt like I was a warrior birthing the next generation of who would lead the way.
From when you were little, you’ve always been your own boss, making your decisions and deciding what you did and did not want.
I still remember you copying your big brother’s stimm one day, I think you thought it was some sort of dance move, but quickly moved onto something else.
This letter, my darling daughter is for you. It’s words that I want to share to say how grateful we are to have such a strong little girl in our lives. One that has witnessed far too much, for too early. You’ve been taken in and out of therapy appointments, having therapists, come to the house. You were shown early on what it looks like to have a brother with autism. You matured far quicker than your peers because you had to.
I know you think we love your big brother more than we love you, but I’m here to tell you that I could never choose who I love more. Our souls are intertwined together. When you hurt, I hurt. We are forever linked.
One day, when you’re much older, you can read this and understand where I’m coming from. And maybe when you have your own babies, you can read it again. A mother’s love can never be extinguished. We fight tooth and nail to get what our kids need so that they can grow to become part of society.
So my sweet girl, thank you. Thank you for all the things you had no idea you were even doing. Thank you for being you. Thank you for showing up for your big brother. We love you so much.
If this struck a cord, please share with other mums, I would be so grateful.
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